Day 10

Still feeling tired and groggy in the morning even with a decent breakfast. Oddly enough I've been getting jaw and headaches as well.

I've also noticed that within 30 minutes of taking the pill I'm fast asleep. BUT, not in a heavy deep sleep like other meds, just in a comfortable sleep.

On Sunday I took a large group of 30+ people on a long ride through the Big Bear loop (200+ miles). Normally I'd be worried if I was going to fast or to slow, when was the next turn. This time everything went well. Everyone said the pace was good and that they were keeping up just fine. I was able to relax, have fun, and enjoy the ride.

Opinions and Controversy

I'm sure people will read this blog and say "so, why should I care." If you are that person then this blog isn't for you. It's not really for anyone but myself so that I can keep a detailed log of my thoughts.

I've decided to make the blog public and share this with people hoping that maybe there are other people out their either on Zoloft, considering it, or opposed to it. I hope that people that are on it read my experiences and can relate as maybe they've had similar experiences. For those considering it, I hope that this gives you a different perspective from the materials that our out there and a more real world take on the effects of this drug.

Now, for those opposed to it, I can see their points, but obviously they're not on it so they can't relate. Yes, Zoloft is a drug, and even though its considered non-habit forming the user is still reliant on the drug, for how long I don't know. Also, I hope those opposed read this and see the benefits or downsides of this drug has in a real world non clinical environment.

The hardest part for me when making this public was what if people I know read this. Well, for those people, I don't seek sympathy but understanding. For those that I have turned off in the past because of my behavior that you give me another shot. I also want to be honest with my friends so that they know what's going on. I believe that if I'm honest with others I'll be honest with myself and accept that taking this medication is helping and that there's nothing wrong with taking it as its only bettering who I am as a person.

Another thing, being unemployed I wonder if an employer would read this. Well besides the legalities behind it I hope that said employer will see the fact that I'm not hiding my problems but rather facing them head first and doing whatever it takes to correct that problem, or in this case behavior.

I think if anything, taking Zoloft has improved my overall quality of life, and if thats not enough reason for you, I don't know what is.

Day 3 | 4/28

Monday 4/28 - recalling as best as I can

The day started off as normal with my 30-40 min walk with the dogs around the neighborhood. I normally watch my podcasts while walking so there wasn't really much of a difference there. It was a bit easier to pay attention to the dogs, walking, and the show I was watching.

I proceeded my day as normal. Finished up my business plan I'd been writing for over a month. Did some research on financing. I spent my usual hour on ocmoto and then moved on to working on a site I'm building for my wife's school.

I had finished up the basics of the site last week and was now moving on to creating the code that drives some of the dynamic content on the site. I was easily able to solve problems that I came across and easily finding workarounds to different issues. Aside from a small date formatting issue I couldn't wrap my head around I was able to leave it and move on. Normally I could spend hours neglecting basic needs such as lunch trying to resolve one issue.

I closed up everything related to the site and went to City hall to reserve a park we needed for an upcoming event. When I got there I was asked to fill out some forms. Normally I would read all the fine print and nit pick about every item several times over annoying the clerk. This time however I read over it, understood it, signed, and moved on. I paid the $30 fee, got my receipt and went home.

I got home around 2pm and went on to tidy up the house. I quickly put things away and was accomplished alot before my wife got home at about 330pm. We went out for lunch at the park, got ice-cream, went to two malls, stopped for a drink and some nachos. Overall it was a great night filled with plenty of conversation and sparks.

I felt so much more aware of things and wasn't so finicky as usual. We were at the shoe store where normally I'd immediately assume that my wife was gonna buy every shoe she looked at and would start working out if we could afford those shoes. I would often even go as far as checking the price of the phone online with my phone regardless of how slow it was.

Once we got home we took a quick shower, started watching American Dad but fell asleep again. I again found it a bit difficult to fall asleep but after watching a few minutes of one of my podcasts I fell right asleep.